December 31, 2004
Whispers from 2004...3
~~v~~ On letting go ~~v~~
The thing about life is, the more you get out of it, the more you have to let go.
Let go of hurt, let go of disappointment, let go of certain people in your life. Yet, there is always a time and place for everything. No point hurrying it.
I put down the burden of a past relationship this year. I've been trying to for sometime before this. But, only really put it down and moved on this year. It's a great relief exchanged with some pain. The most important lessons about life must be paid with some hurt and disappointments, right?
That still doesn't mean I do not think of him or mention his name anymore. It only means that I can think of him, talk about him without feeling affected. It means that his name has no hold nor control over my emotional state anymore.
It's a very liberating feeling.
~~v~~ On the bigger picture in life ~~v~~
I went through a very disillusioned and confused and stressful period towards the end of this year.
I felt like a spectator in my own life. From the crossroads where I stood, I could see many I know walking down a path that I would have wanted so much for myself. I could have the chance to walk down that path. Yet, something held me back - a bigger picture that wasn't presented yet, but a sense of involvement in being a part of that picture. I deviated from the path that I always wanted and made a turn. A risk, I took.
Coming to terms with the deviation and the change of plans was difficult. It tore me in a few directions everytime I thought about it. But as in all things, there is no point making a decision when you don't intend to follow it through.
I felt at peace with myself not long after and, I haven't looked back.
~~v~~ On one crazy thing ~~v~~
Like I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, my only resolution for 2004 (if it can be considered one) was to do one crazy thing.
Now, crazy doesn't have to be crazy defined by others. It only needs to be something you didn't think you would do and it's entirely out of your character to do. Erm, hopefully, after doing, realising that you've got more character than you thought (which must be a good thing).
Accomplished. It's not being able to dial Snow by memory. That's so in me to do. I'm pretty good at memorising hp numbers of a lot of friends.
Accomplished. At Fat Frog cafe. Which leads me to... I miss Fat Frog!!!
~~v~~ On the people who made it possible ~~v~~
You know who you are. Good job!
And Thank You.
XXX
It's been a truly eventful year. Maybe so eventful that I don't really know how to recount it. I bid it farewell soon.
The end has always been in the beginning but the beginning is always in the end.
Happy 2005.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 08:08